Depression

[red1030]

Chris...what your husband says works very well. What Limbo says does the trick also. I said it before, no one has ever commented on it, because maybe they don't understand it, but I did try to commit sucide in 2005. I would never have thought I was capable of doing such a thing. My life overwhelmed me, I couldn't move most of my body again, I was told to retire, and that I would never go back to my job. So one day after my husband left for work, I took a whole bottle of his diabetic medication. All I remember is waking up in ICU with tubes everywhere. I guess my son came home to get something unexpectantly and he could not wake me up so he called his father who told him to call 911 now and he did. I am not saying this to scare you, I am saying..it is so important to get help immediately. Depression is so very ugly and it controls your mind before you know it has really gotten in. I truly believed that my family would be better off without me. I have always been the strong one. I was the active one. I was the worker. I raised 3 kids while going to school fulltime and working full time for most of my life. I have always been very successful in my professional life. I am not an IW so I don't have the same issues with my company. They call me everyother day to ask my advice and that keeps me going also. I am very well known in our state in the long term care field. I have a great reputation with the Department of Health, so why would someone like that do what I did. I am still trying to figure it out. I don't know, but I do know that anyone is at risk. I am not proud of this, it is actually a very embarrassing part of my life. I have always prided myself that I was strong...and then I did that. That wasn't strong...everytime I hear one of you talk about depression my mind goes back to what it can do. It is almost 5 am here and I am still up..strange, but you see I don't sleep either and then it is hard in the morning. I may just stay up today because it will be better than trying to sleep and then get up in the morning.

Chris..I hope you are able to see someone. Just like someone said, just identifying that you need to see someone is the beginning of a true recovery. I wish you the best and my thoughts are with you.

Now for the funny part. I recieve my care from the VA. After I stablized, I was sent from the hospital in my city to the VA medical center. I got to spend 3 weeks in mental health. If you know anything about the VA, you know that it primarily takes care of men. You guessed it. I was on a ward with 31 men and me. Was that ever a mess. Oh...well it is very good reason not to do it again, no matter how bad life may get for me. LOL...I have to smile when I think back about it, and of course they all voted me to be their President...that was fun.

[Still in Limbo]

Red, I'm so glad your Son came home!! Just as a footnote to all of this Depression talk and what it can do to you and not to scare anyone as Red said, I have a very dear friend of 55yrs. young, with a great family and Grandkids, and friends everywhere that battled Bi-Polar disorder. We were so close we even went into business together before I got injured, and were joined at the hip. You would think to talk and look at him that he had the World by the a**, and his future looked great! He committed suicide a few months ago, and it took me until three days ago to go to his graveside. Such a great and vibrant Man cut down in his prime by this very serious disease! Please get the help you need, as Red said she never thought she could do it, and I never thought my friend could either. Please take care of this if not only for you, but for your family and friends who Love you so dearly, and need you at your best!

[red1030]

Limbo...I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Thank you for your response. I am always afraid that people will think less of me, because of what I did. However, I believe that people being aware of the ugliness of depression is far more important than my pride.

[chrischris]

Red, Thank you for sharing. That must have been hard for you to write about. Your son came home unexpectantly for a reason that day. It was not an accident, and you are alive today to help others. I know what you mean about it can happen to anyone. I never ever thought I would be where I am now and I still haven't been abe to face my family and admit I have a problem. My son comes over often and keeps asking me now why I am home and what does the doctor say and what's going on? I just keep telling him I am in Pain, which is true, but there is so much more to it. I am a very private person and that is why I need a place to talk where I won't be judged. Thanks for that!

Limbo, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That too must have been hard for you to share. I hope with time your heart will mend, and you will be able to remember only the great times you had together.

I looked online and in the phone book last night for information about a help facility/hospital for depression, like Limbo had mentioned. All I could find in my locale was help for addictions. I will see my doctor again this week. Thanks for caring.

[capricorn]

CC.....that's a step in the right direction. Please know that I'm thinking of you. let us know how your doing.


CAP


Limbo and Red.......Please don't think I'm being rude. My sister committed suicide 5 years ago this week. She was bi-polar. God bless.



CAP

[Tuffy]

I have been reading all the posts and Cap mentioned in one of hers about the people here that are now having Depression problems, I have been wondering if the weather has anything to do with this issue?. We as IW have been cooped up all winter not being able to do much of anything except think about our medical care and our WC trouble, We more or less have resigned ourselves to that fact. How spring is here and we see all that is going on out side and people enjoying therselves and we can,t do what we would like, or join in the activities we enjoyed in the warm weather, It is my opinion that it is no wonder we become depressed. Just my thoughts. Tuffy

[Spring]

Chris..My friend...please if you are looking in phone books for help you are really trying to reach out for help. Please call your local hospital and ask them where the nearest mental support hospital is. It just may even be in the hospital. If you really feel you need to talk to someone don't put it off anyl onger just do it. You may find a short stay was just the anwser. They can help you to get your family to also understand the pain and the DEPRESSION. Depression is aweful. I know here in our town the local mental hospital advertises where you can go and talk with them for free. They then decide where you need inpatient treatment or outpatient treatment. Please don't beat yourself up inside because you feel you need help to deal with your depression. You deserve to be happy. Please posting so we know you are okay...we are here for you.

[capricorn]

Bravo grandma for having such insight and sharing it. Makes perfect sense. We are so used to spring coming and up and joining in the fun and most of us can't do much. Now that you have brought this to my attention I am going to try to force myself to at least sit outside and enjoy the sun if only for a little everyday.


CAP

[Still in Limbo]

Chris, you are on the right track and I'm very proud of you. The very first thing you have to realize is that Depression is a disease, not a weakness of the Mind or Spirit. You can rank it right up there with diabetes, Cancer, or any of the other serious Diseases out there today, all you are doing is trying to get care for your disease, just as you would for any other. What people think of you at this point doesn't matter, be proud of yourself for taking the steps that you are!!

CAP., I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing someone so unexpectedly sure pulls at your heart strings, I just wish there could have been a way I could have noticed ANYTHING different in my Friends behavior to trigger me to try and help, but he actually seemed happier than he's been in years! My prayers tonight will go to you and your sister CAP.!

[capricorn]

thanks limbo and mine will be for you, your friend and his family. Even though it's been 5 years I still wonder. Probably always will.


Be well,
CAP