03-05-2008, 03:35 AM
Boy, ain't this the truth !!!
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6
months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40
days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard - but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared , "I'm about to start the rain!
Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed
a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the
need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated
the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and
exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development
Appeal Board for a decision.
Then Hydro One demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of
moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea
would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued
me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their
will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was
cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the Ministry of the Environment ruled that I couldn't build the
Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my
Immigration and Naturalization are checking the Visa status of most
of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
hire only union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, Revenue Canada seized all my assets,
claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to
finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord.
"The Government beat me to it."
03-05-2008, 11:39 AM
RE: Noah's Ark
I passed this on to some of my friends
Injured worker, & tired of it all! I'm too old for games!!
A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, and a loving word may heal and bless!
03-05-2008, 11:41 AM
RE: Noah's Ark
This was really cute... I lived in Oregon when the whole issues of the spotted owl arose..what a disaster for that state...their main product was lumber and suddenly mills are closing left and right... no lumber to produce...can't cut down due to the needs of the spotted owl.... I joined the Navy and left the state... Red
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
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