prayers please

[ksgirl]

Monster, I do the same thing you do. When I am feeling bad or down now, I tend to go back into the past. I have dealt with my past, but when I am hurt now, I automatically revert to that child and remember. Please don't feel bad for sharing, it doesn't mean you were weak. Being able to confront your past and see it as the past is not weak!

[Still in Limbo]

I'm soo Sorry I didn't See this until this Morning, but You know You will be in My Prayers!! And I understand the double feelings You are having, and don't beat Yourself up about them, they are natural and Normal!! I had those double feelings when My Mother-In-Law, who fought soo Hard for so long was ready to go, I Prayed All Day for the Angel of Mercy to come and get Her!! So I Know how that feels!! Hang in there, God will choose the right Path for Your Sister to follow, and if She does Pass, I Know You will find the Strength to Help Your Parents along!! My Best to You and Your Family!!

[UndercovrAngel]

I am just gettiing around to catching up with everything on the board. And I had to reply on this topic. Jayne, I hope that things are better with your sister this morning/today. It's hell having to see someone go through this. Trust me, I have been there.

But rest assured, even though I haven't been on much lately, nor posted much, I have kept each and everyone of you in my prayers on a daily basis. In fact, I pray for my forum family before I do my biological family.

I myself haven't lived a life full of roses and sunshine. At one time during my teenage years, I became a ward of the state of Colorado. I'm not going to go into the details, as I have moved past that and had to learn to forgive what happened before the hatred killed me.

Later in life, while I was in the military, I became addicted to crystal meth. Luckily, it didn't run my life, and I met my first ex-husband who had the foresight to get me out of the area where I had easy access to it, and I went cold turkey and got myself off of the drugs.

I too Jayne, just like you, am very careful about narcotic drugs prescribed by physicians. When my PCP prescribed 40 lortab for me back on Aug 20th when I started having some health problems, he probably figured that I would be out within 10 days. Little did he know that I will tolerate a lot of pain before I break down and take something for it. I just took the last one on Friday.

We all, in our own ways find the strength to deal with what is handed to us. Some will reach out to others in their time of need, others will keep it to themselves and try to find the answers on their own. In whatever way we find the answer, just know that there are many out here on the forum that will be here in your time of need. If it's for no more than an encouraging word, a prayer or a soft hug. For that is what family is for.

God bless each and everyone of you and keep you safe in his hands

Angel ^j^

[monster]

Jayne - First off I am sorry I turned your thread this direction. Secondly how are you and your parents coping and how is your sister? You have my number,please call if you would like to talk, vent or anything else okay? You and hubby are wonderful people and I am here if you need to talk to someone...am great listener but not great speaker but am here for you if you need me.

I can't remember who said it here to give them the credit but one of you said something like...we have all worked so hard to overcome our past that we have broken our bodies...I really believe this to be true. My wonderful dad instilled in me a terrific work ethic and the short time that I remember being with my mom all she showed me was how to live off the welfare system or steal. I think this is why I so adamantly refuse to apply for social security. I want to work, it's what I know and what I enjoy.

I also believe our family has become stronger these last two days. I was also raised to be private but you have all become my family and I knew in my heart I would not be judged here. Thank you for that, that in itself is a blessing.

For all who have posted just know that we are strong and getting stronger all the time. We may be hurt and in pain, but there are many in the world who are not strong enough to cope what we deal with on a daily basis. I thank God each and every day that I have found my way here and that you all have as well.

If anyone needs to talk please feel free to PM me and if you would like include a phone number...most of the time I am home except when in school...well unless I am in the ditch laughing and then it might be a bit before I get your PM but believe me I will

YOu have all taught me so much about family and although I'm not always the greatest monster to be around I am a much better monster for knowing you all. You are all in my prayers and Bless you all for being the people that you are.

Love,
Jerri

[capricorn]

I agree Monster that Jayne opening up on this post has made us all a little stronger in the past couple of days and I feel so much less alone.

Prayers,
CAP

[MJC]

Sharing with each other sure does give all of us strength. This is what we are all about on this forum. That is why we are a family. Love ya'll.

Cajun Hugsssssss,
MJC

[Sithie]

I had my psych eval today, and that man tried really hard to make me feel worthless and a victim. I was able to think of this post and look him in the eye and ask him why the hell my childhood had anything to do with slipping and falling on a greasy floor at 36 years old. I told him my private life was just that, private. You guys gave me that pride and that stength! Thank you all so very much for being you.

Love ya,
Sithie

[monster]

Sithie - I'm so happy to hear that you stood up to him! That is why I cancelled my psych eval...I was told I had to cooperate with ALL questions and my childhood had absolutely nothing to do with a slip and fall, nor the wind blowing a hood onto the top of my head nor all the heavy lifting I did.

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

love,
monster

[capricorn]

sithie....great job! Alot of us have kept depression out of our WC claims for that reason. No one wants their private life drug all over the place. It has nothing to do with our injuries.

God bless you,
CAP