Grandkids

[UndercovrAngel]

CF,

I am so sorry to hear this. It just breaks my heart to hear how cruel some children can be when it comes to letting their parents interact with their grandchildren.

I have a 27 year old daughter that I gave up in an open adoption. My other children and I were a part of her life until 7 months after her adoptive mother died in Dec. 2000. She is the mother of my oldest grandson, Ethan, who turned 10 this past February. All I have of him are pictures my other dughter took of him when she went out to meet her sister after he was born, taken in June of 2001. I haven't a clue where she is anymore, as she cut off all contact with my family after her sister's visit. For all I know, she has other children that I know nothing about.

Three of my grandchildren live clear out in Detroit,MI and I finally got to meet them 3 summers ago when the twins were 4 and their little sister was 2. But they have always known about their Grandmother that lives so far away. That is one thing that my son has done an excellent job with them on. Letting them know that even though I can't be a part of their daily lives, doesn't mean that I don't love them. And even if I have to go with out something I might need, I make sure to send them little gifts throughout the year, as well as on bdays and xmas.

I got to meet my youngest granddaughter just a few days after she turned one. And now that she is almost 2, I am going to see her again. Only this time it won't be so hectic. Last time I saw her was for her parents wedding. We could only be there for 3 days, and with setting up the wedding/receptiona area, nails and hair, food prep,the wedding, and cleaning up the wedding/reception area the next day, we really didn't get a lot of quality time together, but I wouldn't change what we had. It is going to be fun this time around, as she knows "gamma's" voice on the phone.. so wondering if she is going to put 2 and 2 together when I am there in person and realize I am the voice on the other end of the phone. This time there is no place that we actually have to be at any certain time.. although we do have plans to get out and do a few things. I am just looking forward to sitting and holding her.. if she will sit still long enough.. maybe reading a story to her, but just spending special time with her. Hopefully, if things work out for my daughter and her husband next spring, she will be coming to stay with "gamma" while they are out on a cruise for a belated honeymoon.

I don't know how I would handle it if my children didn't allow me to be a part of my grandchildrens lives.

Angel ^j^

[Cervical_Fusion]

Undercover angel you would be heart broken like my wife and I am. we raised and we have praised what a great child we gave birth to, only to be treated this way now, and my gut tells me it is all his wife behind it all, but she is from a very disfunctional family as he has said to us before. guess she wants to carry that family over to his side of her family now. It hurts and breaks my wifes heart, but some day he will have to answer to god for his actions, i hope some day those little girls will grow up and want to be a part of our life, he has taken so much from his mother and father. I will be having a will made soon as wife and i think we need one and in it i will say and describe what his abandoment has done to us.

[jayne]

dont wait for then CF you must tell him now...in a letter if it would be easier but dont wait for your death....he may not know the pain he is causing.....and if its possiable to get thru to him sooner you want to try to...does he have anything to do with your other children could they maybe talk to him? will be praying for you....it took 10 years for my one daughter to come around...so keep the faith

[Cervical_Fusion]

Jayne he has been told and yes he talks to his sister. He is aware how his mother and i feel, we thought all was ok untill we wanted the grandchildren at out house this week end. and theyat is when it all fell to hell, and the truth came out.

[UndercovrAngel]

CF,

Are you allowed any kind of interaction with the grands at all ?? I would, if nothing else, try to stay in touch with them in any manner available. Don't give up on the grands at this point in time.. they are young and will eventually begin asking about you and your wife as they get older and interact with other children. Keep all lines of communication open, even if it sticks in your craw with the way your son allows his wife to call all the shots when it comes to their children.

If there are any available funds, set up trust funds for you grands now. Put a little into each account each month, with it set up for them to receive the funds at an age where you feel they would be mature enough to handle the responsibility. And if by chance you/your wife were to pass before they attain their majority, have any funds that they might receive in your will go into this fund as well. Write them letters letting them know how much you love them... and anything else you might want them to know at this point in time. Put the letters and anything that you might want to them to have (small sentimental items of course) into a safety deposit box. If they aren't allowed to know you while they grow up.. at least they will know that you never lost the love that you have for them and will hopefully be able to understand it.

Angel ^j^