Indiana PPI

[Cervical_Fusion]

Well jayne i am home alone at night, wife works 3rd shift so she leaves for work at 10pm. So i deal with it last night 2.5 hrs sleep, most nights it is around 3 or 4 before i actually fall asleep. That is when i get up and take a couple of oxy to knock my arse out. I know what u mean about being in the system so long and not being normal anymore. My wife and kids tell me that all the time, dad u are not normal anymore. So that is why i guess the kids don't come around much often. well wife has to she has no where to go LOL. god bless her sole, i know i have put her through it, i have nothing to do with anyone i ever worked with anymore and most of my friends are all gone now, as i can not tolerate doing anything with them, i have days i want even get out of my pajamas just eat oxy and try to make it throuhg the day and get up tomorrow and start all over.. I have my cane and i hate having to use it my dogs chase me around when i use it. afraid i might just knock them around if they give me much excrement. but i love my animals i would never hurt them. they are so forgiveing and love you no matter how much pain you are in or what u say to them and they could careless waht u look like, they are there to love you and try to make you feel some better inside. I never know where i am going to end up at the end of the day to sleep. My bedroom, one the kids bedrooms as they are gone, maybe a couch or the recliner upstairs or down stairs, i jut die when that time comes and get to the point i want get up and move because it hurts too much, sometime to even breath. I have a dr appt tomorrow for accupuncture. and get my scripts written.

[weezle735]

CF and Jayne believe me when I say I understand what u r goin thru. Recetnly the recliner has been my bed. I attempt to go to bed w my husband but the pain is so bad I have to get up and move. Seems to be I feel like I need to stretch my leg but it hurts too much, stretch out my back but it hurts to much. So I get to sleep maybe for an hr. @ 1 am and have to get back up to take more or diff pills to try and sleep. Fall asleep by 4 but have to be back up by 7 to get kids ready for school, one of which is homeschooled/cyber schooled. So there are days that I must push thru to work w him on school usually from couch. My hubby does alot as far as work, does alot at home to help as much as poss. Hopeing to get a call back from dr to get CT scan due to new symptoms. I can not imagine living the rest of my life like this. I am young, was very healthy. Just begining my career. And now in the short scope of things.....its over or never gonna be what it was. But im sure I will learn how todo things differently, even in constant pain.