Insurance Policy, the fine print......

[bodybuilder1958]

When my insurance company refused to pay for my newborn son's circumcision, I got a letter explaining its logic. Under the procedure "Circumcision" was written "Unable to locate member."

Top Ten signs you've chosen a cheap HMO:

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor´s office include "take a left when you enter the trailer park".
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6. Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day".
5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming
2. With your last HMO, your Viagra pills didn´t come in different colors with little "M´s" on them.
1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.

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A man fell asleep on the beach under the noonday sun and suffered a severe sunburn and heatstroke. He was taken to the hospital where his skin was a bright red, painful and started to blister. Anything that touched him caused agony. The Doctor attending and prescribed continued intravenous feeding of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and Viagra.

"What good will Viagra do him in that condition?" the nurse inquired.

"It will keep the sheet off of him."
***************************************
News Flash: "Doctors at a large managed care network gone on strike. Managed Care Officials say they will find out what the Doctors´ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs."

[jayne]

cute BB

[chrischris]

yes, cute BB, and so unlike you. LOL!

[inpainokla]

LMAO good one BB

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

A Nun at Hooters

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'

'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand.
Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'

'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.

'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?'

[Bad Boy Bad Boy]

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No,'"she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,'"she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next.'"